I chose my child’s birth to talk about a birth experience. Twenty one years ago I became pregnant when I was only 16 years old. I can remember how scare I was when I found out. I did not have an idea of what I was going to do, but because of my values and beliefs I knew that abortion was not a choice. During my first trimester, I was very sad because I felt that I had betrayed my mother. My mother found out that I was pregnant when I was 4 months into the pregnancy. After my mother had found out about my pregnancy, I got married to the father of my child and started to live an adult life. I remember that my family believed that pregnant women get to eat everything they want regardless of healthy or not. I took advantage of that, and I dedicated my time to eat a lot. By the time, I was 8 months pregnant I had high blood pressure and diabetes. My doctor had to practice an emergency C-section because I developed preeclampsia. That the situation was very scary and put at risk my baby’s life. Fortunately my baby was born healthy and without any complications. My baby got to go home before me because the doctors had to control my systems before they sent me home. Due to that I missed the opportunity to breast feed my child because by the time I was released from the hospital he was used to the bottle, and he did not want my breast. The fact that I was so young had an effect on the way I took care of pregnancy and in my son’s development. The first five years of my son’s life he spent more time with my mother than with me. I was trying to work and go to school to offer a better future to my son. At that age, I thought that the most important thing was to have something to offer him in the future, and I did not know that the present was also very important. Now, that I have knowledge in the early childhood development I think about all the things that I missed and how would I have done different if I knew the things that I now know.
This blog has been created to share information, notes, inspirational quotes and knowledge with colleagues about early childhood.
Marta, my heart aches for you and your first birth experience. I am sorry you have those regrets in your heart when you think through all that transpired to bring that beautiful life into this world. We do what we know best to do in those moments. "It is what it is" has been my motto recently when faced with situations or regrets that I cannot change. Then I search the rubble for the blessings hidden there, like: A successful birth, a grandma to care for your newborn in your absence, the means to purchase formula to bottle-feed your baby, your own recovery and strength of spirit to pursuit work and a successful future, and... a precious new life. Looking through the lens of the blessings will re-frame your birth story into one of hope and overcoming.
ReplyDeleteMarta,
ReplyDeleteI was 19 when I had my first child. It was scary for me as well. I was in school studying Business Administration and my "boyfriend" thought I was going to meet someone. Even though I don't blame him because it took two. After I had my son I quit college and went to work. I didn't want my mother to raise my son. She did all she could do for me and my sister growing up and I took that into how I raised my son. She was always there for me and I knew she would take care of my son if I wanted to go back to school. I was 26 when I went back to school. I wanted my children to know that you can still achieve your goals even though you had to put them on hold a while. My oldest son was so proud when he saw me march across the stage and receive my degree. He often says that the sacrifices I made for him have given him the determination to do well in life. Neither of my children were planned and I was a single mother, but I thank God for them each day. They showed me that I was a surviver. They are 11 years apart and I have enjoyed the diversity that they bring into my life. Even though we have never met, I can honestly say that I am so proud of you for continuing on with your dreams and goals. Your story is something that all young mothers should hear. Your profile speaks for itself.